All this talk of ignore and "keeping it out of the states"...

[Jenbar]

1. "Keep it out of the states"

In comparison to CD simply because the board focus is similar in topic : You guys have to have noticed that there are plenty of disagreements and bickering in the states forums at CD. The difference is, there is more activity and (being that it's a more established forum) there is enough other conversation elsewhere to avoid it if you choose too.

Another difference, more hands on moderation - so that when it gets TOO heated for the general population, posts are deleted, edited, etc.

I am sure the WA people here could vouch that it got pretty volatile on a particular thread that was originally over 11 pages, and spilled out into several other threads. I have seen it in the Texas forums - and other places that I lurked in as well. It happens - and to say that it shouldn't, really is kind of silly. Message boards are all about the occasional conflict. "Fluff only" boards tend to get boring, for the most part - and fizzle out. Another problem, forums that are full of fluff and joking, tend to give the perception to the newbie that it's cliquish, and hard to break into. When everyone is joking, and you don't know the joke - people are less inclined to contribute.

The suggestion has been made, and I would have to agree - rather than the cries of "Keep it out of the states" or resulting in heavy handed moderation, a "Heated Topics" forum should be created, and the admin can move any thread that seems to be heading into a bicker-fest, to that forum - to continue out. Then, you have the choice of going to that forum or not. That's not heavy moderation, and requires little work of the admin - and he/she doesn't have to worry about parenting the board, or being seen as unfair. The discussion can continue, for those who choose to do so, in whatever manner they choose to do so. It could be a subscription, similar to the "Offensive Jokes" sub.

Otherwise, you are suggesting censorship and heavy moderation, amongst adults - who have the right to address points or statements in which they feel are offensive. Several people on this forum have strong opinions, and to ask them to ignore something that may be their personal "hot button" : racism, politics, abortion... whatever... simply because you can handle an aggressive discussion - really isn't fair to the community as a whole.

On the flip side, of course different strokes for different folks, and without a doubt there are some that can do without confrontation. They have every right to that opinion, unless that means they are stifling others... so, I really see that the separate forum really is the perfect solution.

2. "Ignore"

I think this feature, or more, choosing to use this feature is seriously immature and counter-productive to the community. Several times, on several boards - I have seen out and out fights and angry words between members, who later find common ground on other issues, and in turn, it helps grow the community so that future discussions are more fruitful and less heated.

To select to ignore someone because of some words shared - but then to continue speaking about them in a derogatory and passive aggressive fashion - does nothing to help any mending, and in fact - only continues the flames. In this situation, are you really "ignoring" them anyway? So what is the point?

I guess in conclusion, I simply have to say... messageboards are typically like this. I have been on several since 2000... and some were of the "fluff" variety, some of the "anything goes" and some... somewhere in between. People leave. People come back. People stick it out. None the less - there isn't anything all that different about this messageboard vs. all the others out there (other than admin hiding behind the "admin" acct and no one knows who he is - that's a new one for me). Conflict happens on the internet. Heck, conflict happens on my little neighborhood Yahoo group in discussions about the speeding that occurs. If you can't handle it here, then you likely can't handle it on any other loosely moderated board either... and those that left, would have left regardless of the "Are you black" thread... because there is always "something" that will come up.

[TalmudTemple]

whew....it's just a friggen web-based forum fo godsake

unbelievable

[Jenbar]

... and you are still working with the same material. You can keep saying that, and yes, this will continue to be a "web based forum" fo godsake.

SHALOM!

[TalmudTemple]

it's not real life no matter how much you think it mimmicks it, or how much you think it should be transformed to make it some sort of "community"...its' not


SHALOM!

[Jenbar]

I don't think that I implied that it was like "real life". Nor do I, personally, want it "transformed" into anything.

Given the definition of "community" - I would have to say it is. Is it like a "real life" community in which you live? No - but none the less, it's a gathering of people sharing some common interests, participating with fellowship and contributing to their locality.

Some are more invested than others. Some apparently use it for lack of friends elsewhere. However, as an educated individual, I am sure you can grasp that just because one contributes their opinion to the state of said "web based forum" doesn't mean that they have devoted their life to it. Perhaps one just likes to see themselves type.

com·mu·ni·ty (k-myn-t)
n. pl. com·mu·ni·ties 1. a. A group of people living in the same locality and under the same government.
b. The district or locality in which such a group lives.

2. a. A group of people having common interests: the scientific community; the international business community.
b. A group viewed as forming a distinct segment of society: the gay community; the community of color.

3. a. Similarity or identity: a community of interests.
b. Sharing, participation, and fellowship.

4. Society as a whole; the public.
5. Ecology a. A group of plants and animals living and interacting with one another in a specific region under relatively similar environmental conditions.
b. The region occupied by a group of interacting organisms.

[Jenbar]

It's just a post on a web based forum, stupid !

SHALOM!

[TalmudTemple]

It sounds like and looks like you are way too involved in the mechanics of this forum..

fellowship ? that's rich

Messagesboards ?? obviously you spend way too much sincere and productive time on them

Community ?? don't think so

[Jenbar]

I know... I know... I think we all know, how you feel.

It will still stay a web based forum. It will still have people more invested than others. It will continue to be different things to different people.

It will also continue to have those invested enough that they come daily, to try to offend others, when they could obviously be spending their sincere and productive time elsewhere, as well.

I am crying in my cheerios about your assumptions. No really - I am.






It's just a post on a web based forum, stupid !

SHALOM!

[TalmudTemple]

Obviously you are offended. My excuse is that I'm retired at a very young age, play golf, do web research, coach kids, and sit on my Sea Ray.

[Wyody]

Originally Posted by TalmudTemple

Obviously you are offended. My excuse is that I'm retired at a very young age, play golf, do web research, coach kids, and sit on my Sea Ray.

The wife and I can be at the Portland airport in about two hours - of course, we'll have to work it into our schedule ... and even then, we'll only have a couple of days to spend with you. We're straight that way - by the way.
I once retired at the age of 31. Luckily, Reagan became president and put a stop to that.

[MyAzi]

Originally Posted by TalmudTemple

Obviously you are offended. My excuse is that I'm retired at a very young age, play golf, do web research, coach kids, and sit on my Sea Ray.

Wow TT you are blessed to be retired so young and to be able to do all that. If it were me I sure wouldn't be here wasting time insulting everyone who really didn't care about what I had to say.

[TalmudTemple]

Azi:

I don't recall 'insulting' anyone.

One has to give themselves 'permission' to be 'insulted'

SHALOM!

[scirocco22]

Originally Posted by Wyody

The wife and I can be at the Portland airport in about two hours - of course, we'll have to work it into our schedule ... and even then, we'll only have a couple of days to spend with you. We're straight that way - by the way.
I once retired at the age of 31. Luckily, Reagan became president and put a stop to that.

*roflmao*!! Thanx, Wyody for picking up my spirits this morn ...I've been sort of down in the dumps since last nite.


--'rocco

[TalmudTemple]

Jen, is this you??

Anyway, in my spare time I play with my kids and pups, I am learning to knit and spend time online. I have recently gotten addicted to celebrity gossip sites, which is totally lame, and I am aware of the magnitude of lameness it reflects on me :) but I go anyway. I have a parenting messageboard, and visit a few others which are similar. And, of course, myspace


Hmm, and you attempt to 'fence' with me ??

You also stated that you have 3 boys (all under 7) and ONE with a medical problem that will require life long treatment ?

wow, you obviously have more time to attempt to fence with me on the lousy web rather than dealing with far more important issues.....

No matter, I could not care less....but truth is always revealing with people.

Perhaps you might consider spending more 'quality time' with your 3 growing kids and less time being "addicted" to 'celebrity gossip sites..

SHALOM!

[scirocco22]

oh man.

[Wyody]

Originally Posted by scirocco22

*roflmao*!! Thanx, Wyody for picking up my spirits this morn ...I've been sort of down in the dumps since last nite.


--'rocco

And now, for your entertainment and amusement - the venerable yet wrinkled Wyody Cody!
I like dumps Roc. Difficult to walk in some days - but I like to take a mirror with me when I go ... sometimes, it's the only place I can look into it and it doesn't get all fogged up with my own breath.

[MyAzi]

Originally Posted by TalmudTemple

Azi:

I don't recall 'insulting' anyone.

One has to give themselves 'permission' to be 'insulted'

SHALOM!

agreed... however my point was you don't seem to enjoy being here. (my perception from reading your replys to posts) And if you don't enjoy yourself isn't that a waste of your free time?

[TalmudTemple]

funny, I'm not overly concerned about your time...why you ask? I simply don't care my cyber friend

[MyAzi]

Originally Posted by TalmudTemple

funny, I'm not overly concerned about your time...why you ask? I simply don't care my cyber friend

Ahhhh I see now... that explains everything... Thank You for your honesty

[RodFarlee]

Originally Posted by TalmudTemple

Jen, is this you?? <snip>

Sigh. Just when I thought he could sink no lower, he surpasses my lowest expectations.

It's sad to watch a passable intellect turned to malice in a juvenile emotional tantrum.

Jen', I trust you are more practiced than I in dealing with three-year-olds, and know how to ignore this one. We shouldn't be surprised, though, he gave us far more than adequate warning of his nature. They're worst when they're teething like this, right?

[TalmudTemple]

She should ignore it.....she can't rmember what she divulges I suppose.

hey Rod-

Here's the point you might remember. I'm not your friend or buddy. I'm not interested in becoming your cyber-firend, but more importantly I'm surely not interested in your 'endorsement' of my intellectual 'style', and substance.

it would be indeed foolish of me to be remotely interested in 'getting a good cyber-grade' from you, or, of course for anyone else.

I don't care what your 'expectations' are...they are truly yours. I have no such 'expectations' of you.....that's silly indeed.

That should be clear enough even for you to comprehend.

SHALOM!

[Jenbar]

Still here Temple?

Funny, I went out into my real community. Had lunch with friends, and went grocery shopping... all while you sat here and clickity-clacked.

[Jenbar]

But, in regards to celebrity sites.... wow, anyone keeping up with the Anna Nicole debacle? Talk about high drama.

Thank goodness for Happy Meals. I just throw one down for the little rugrats, being that I can't tear myself away from it all. The one with the medical issue? Bah. Therapy, shmerapy.

</sarcasm>

[Wyody]

Originally Posted by TalmudTemple

She should ignore it.....she can't rmember what she divulges I suppose.

hey Rod-

Here's the point you might remember. I'm not your friend or buddy. I'm not interested in becoming your cyber-firend, but more importantly I'm surely not interested in your 'endorsement' of my intellectual 'style', and substance.

it would be indeed foolish of me to be remotely interested in 'getting a good cyber-grade' from you, or, of course for anyone else.

I don't care what your 'expectations' are...they are truly yours. I have no such 'expectations' of you.....that's silly indeed.

That should be clear enough even for you to comprehend.

SHALOM!

"Danger Will Robinson. Danger"

[RodFarlee]

Originally Posted by Wyody

"Danger Will Robinson. Danger"

Chuckle! Ah, Wyody!

Returning to the original proposal to create a "hot topics" forum, it is unclear to me how one could anticipate which topics ought to go there, rather than here. There is a great deal of "thread wander" in this forum. Witness this thread!

Of course, threads could be moved there as they disintegrate. Or, to take this thread as an example, the entire thread could be moved and the discussion restarted afresh by reposting the first posting, which raises a quite valid question. But I doubt that would work, as it would offend the troll who is here only for attention, who would derail it anew.

That's why I posted the polls asking "what is acceptable?" here. Their goal is to ask this group whether the very basic norms of civil conduct apply here, or not, as it certainly is not clear. If they achieve a consensus, perhaps other questions might be posed. If they fail to, I think we can all see where this forum is headed.

p.s. Jen', I know you disdain the term PDNFTT, but scrolling up...

[Wyody]

Poll???? We've got a Poll?????
I am with you on thread-wander. I really was only noticing it when "I" would start a thread and find, for example "Hurricane Proof" becoming "cheesecake recipes" (not an actual example). Or, "Welcome to the Forum" becoming "you're a pig!" (almost an actual example).
I foresee a problem trying to impose societal rules without actually becoming narrow. Of course, some of you ... especially you, Rod ... have long experience with forums. I imagine you folks could hammer it out.
But Hey! We're keeping some of it out of the states for now!! Right??