Moving Children Away From Their Father

[Anabelle]

I've considered moving to Canada, actually. Toronto specifically. My fiance's family is from there..but my family is here. My kids' real father isn't really deeply involved in our childrens' lives, they have virtually no relationship with the guy..But still. just incase..ya know? I'd feel terribly guilty. So, I'll just keep hanging out in Texas :P

I do like Texas in general though.. certain places more than others. So its not so bad, maybe I'l just pick up a second home and visit frequently :P...hmm snow!

[the dufferz]

Originally Posted by Anabelle

My kids' real father isn't really deeply involved in our childrens' lives, they have virtually no relationship with the guy..But still. just incase..ya know? I'd feel terribly guilty. So, I'll just keep hanging out in Texas :P

I am not sure who I feel more sorry for, your kids father, or your kids. As a dad, I can tell you that I would circle the globe to be with my kids and would not give up my years with them for all the money, gold... or rice

Your kids deserve a father and are losing out... unless he is a total jerk... I hope your fiance will be a good father figure to them. Yeah, it's not the same as a bio dad, but a bio dad that won't be involved in their life gets busted down to sperm doner status in my book.

Don't feel guilt unless you have a good reason to...

Duff

[Anabelle]

Oh yea..they know their father well... he choses to stay out of their lives, because when he comes in to it he gets very abusive (he is bipolar and never takes his meds) He has resulted in quite a hefty psychiatric bill for my oldest who actually remembers living with him and the things that went on. I actually tried to encourage him to be involved in their lives..but its always short lived and ends badly. =/ He also choses to watch porn with the kids in his room..he's a bit messed up. *sigh*

My fiance is a very good guy, very involved with the kiddos. He spends a lot of time playing games with them (sports, video and board games alike) he cooks with them, takes them out to do photography with him (he's a graphic designer) he helps with homework and he's just one of the good guys. They love him. So I did luck out in the roll model department.

[the dufferz]

Originally Posted by Anabelle

Oh yea..they know their father well... he choses to stay out of their lives, because when he comes in to it he gets very abusive (he is bipolar and never takes his meds) He has resulted in quite a hefty psychiatric bill for my oldest who actually remembers living with him and the things that went on. I actually tried to encourage him to be involved in their lives..but its always short lived and ends badly. =/ He also choses to watch porn with the kids in his room..he's a bit messed up. *sigh*

My fiance is a very good guy, very involved with the kiddos. He spends a lot of time playing games with them (sports, video and board games alike) he cooks with them, takes them out to do photography with him (he's a graphic designer) he helps with homework and he's just one of the good guys. They love him. So I did luck out in the roll model department.

Anabelle,

Sounds like second time was a charm. We had our niece live with us for 7 months when she was 7 years old. We came to the belief that she was bi-polar (they can't test kids for that) and it was quite a ride! Honestly you should feel bad if you let the kids seek a relationship. Kids have to understand that anyone can be a father... in.. out... rabbit dies, insta-father. But it takes a real man to be a good dad, and if bio-father can't hack it... well, sounds like they are blessed to have someone else stepping up. Good for your man. Give him a big hug and tell him that the duff thinks he is a great man!

PS - he watched porn with the kids? Hmm. I think sometimes there is better use for a baseball bat other than hitting just one ball... if you know what I mean.

[baron the great]

uh oh this is how I got in trouble at c-d. I would have their (father's) rights terminated, then get out of dodge, that way he would never have access to them and believe me I am a HUGE advocate of father's rights. They should be forfited if he is doing what you say. Get a backbone girl, do not give up now, good luck.

[PDXnative]

Originally Posted by Anabelle

He also chooses to watch porn with the kids in his room..he's a bit messed up. *sigh*

Sounds like a real winner. Run far away from that loser!!!!!

[Anabelle]

<3 to all three of you :P

Oh I haven't. He's pretty much terminated his rights on his own.. He just gives me a teensy bit of money every month (that has to be garnished from his pay because he openly admits he will not pay otherwise heh) and for the most part stays out of our lives now. I've stopped trying to make him be involved anymore, the kids do not go to his home anymore or anything. Occasionally he decides to bring them a birthday gift and thats about it. Though I have to say, he did call yesterday and made an attempt to help me with something regarding the kiddos AND ask how they were doing at the same time!...that was actually very nice of him. He's getting married though soon..he always turns kinder and gentler about that time. lol

[the dufferz]

Originally Posted by Anabelle

<3 to all three of you :P

He's getting married though soon..he always turns kinder and gentler about that time. lol

Originally Posted by baron the great

uh ho this is how I got in trouble at c-d.

kinda a buyer beware thing for the poor gal he is marrying... hope either got snipped so they can't have anymore kids.

Baron... your banned. There. do you feel better?

Duff

[baron the great]

duff you ever see that commercial with the laundry lady ripping the shirts off of people to get them cheer bright? Well I am just about that subtle when it comes to kids. I do tend to be hard on other women, only because we are the mothers, and your mom should always be looking out for you, often mother grizzly like. I thankfully and prayerfully am closing in on 26 years of marriage but my loving husband knows that I would go to the ends of the earth to protect my children. Ok I will induce the self bonk

[the dufferz]

hang on... baron? how about baroness? Didn't realize you were a Mrs. Baron.
I have a HUGE soft spot for kids and think that a dad should be willing to die for their kids (can you tell I'm a guy?).

Anyway, Mrs. dufferz and I are almost to our 25th next month!

duff

[baron the great]

Duff that is the Great Baron in the pic! His favorite riding position is in the rear window. Congradulations on your time served! I know that being married to the same sweetie has really shaped me as a person. Part of the move to Montana is to have a new adventure but my daschund really has to plow the snow he is so low to the ground! I was seven of nine at cd, and got tired of that name, star trek fan you know, and decided to change to my buddy's name, made a duplicate account, sorry not so tech savy, got the ax or so they say BTW my husband is finishing his teaching degree so currently there are two kids plus the hubby in college, therefor you guys are my entertainment cause there isn't much moola left over for travel. Thanks for the replys

[Anabelle]

25 years! Duff!! Thats awesome..Grats!

[Admin]

This was getting long, so I split it from the Canada thread.

Anyone Considered a Move to Canada?

[MyAzi]

Originally Posted by the dufferz

hang on... baron? how about baroness? Didn't realize you were a Mrs. Baron.
I have a HUGE soft spot for kids and think that a dad should be willing to die for their kids (can you tell I'm a guy?).

Anyway, Mrs. dufferz and I are almost to our 25th next month!

duff

In this day and age just because someone says they have a husband...it doesn't mean they are a "wife"... they could also be a husband.

And CONGRATS on 25.... Mrs. Duff is a very lucky lady to have a very kind and handsome husband!

[baron the great]

Yes My Azi, baron is a ref to my doggie, and I do belong to the female side of the team